


Nothing But Rage

by BulletStead



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletStead/pseuds/BulletStead
Summary: Grieving is hard and for Jay Halstead he needed to help let out some rage. Here’s to finally healing from what happened.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Adam Ruzek, Jay Halstead/Adam Ruzek
Kudos: 9





	Nothing But Rage

Jay is punching the bag hard as Ruzek holds it. His fist colliding with it hard, sweat is dripping off his chin as he takes a step forward to put more force into his punch. “Woah man, easy. I’m here to help, not end up like your punching bag.” 

Jays eyes look at Ruz as he’s panting and grabs the water from the side of them. He guzzles it down and wiped his brow. “Sorry, Ruz... got carried away.” Adam smiled and set a hand on his shoulder. “You sure you’re okay? I know I agreed to helping you with this... but you do know talking helps too right?” 

Adam talking? Jay laughs humorously as he sets his drink down. “Yeah Ruz I’m good. Come on let’s go for a round.” Adam still feeling concerned but nods as he covered his fists with tap. “You know I’m going to kick your ass right?” Jay is bouncing around, getting warmed up. He’s hitting the air and laughing. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” Truth is Jay is hiding his rage, he’s trying to act like everything is fine but it’s not... he feels so much pain inside him. He had it all wrong... he blames himself for what happened. 

Adam gets in the ring with Jay and gets in his stance. “Show me what you got pretty boy.” Did he just call him pretty boy? Huh.. that’s a change since Adam is the one being called that. Jay shakes the weird comment off from him and makes a quick right hook towards Adams face. 

Adam dodged it stead fast, he hits Jay on his side. Jay groans as he wasn’t ready for it. “You good bro?” Adam knowing how things went for his best friend. He wants to be here for him but he really isn’t sure this is the best idea... he feels like something is about to happen, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

“Yeah, less talking. More hitting.” Adam shuts up after that and Jay jabs him hard in the stomach making Adam groan as he wasn’t ready for that. Jay needed this, after losing his father he hasn’t been like himself and the grief kept eating at him. Finally after thinking how to take out his rage on the pain, he decided to invite Adam. 

But boy did Adam not enjoy it one bit as he’s now in a chokehold by Jay. He’s groaning he’s got his arms held down too. “Alright I tap out!” Jay doesn’t let go at all. He keeps Adam where he is, squeezing harder causing Adam to panic. 

He’s thrashing hard, having a hard time to breathe, it’s like Jay is in a trance like state. He finally released after a moment and Adam is coughing as he stood back up. Jays back on his own feet again too, he didn’t see his best friend anymore, as he watched him coughing and Adam asking what’s up? 

Jay loses it, he attacks Adam. All he sees is his abusive father. The grief taking over him completely in a way he’s never experienced. Adam is flat on his back as Jay is on top. He’s punching him left and right in the face. Blood is splatting on the mat, Jay is beating him up pretty good. 

He’s got tears in his eyes as he’s just pounding his fists into Adam. Adam is struggling and yelling at him to get off and what the hell is wrong with him. His best friends blood splatters on Jays face. He’s not here anymore, he’s that kid again with no control as his father is being a drunk son of a bitch he always was. 

Eventually Adams cries get to Jay and he comes back to where he is in the present. He couldn’t believe what he just did. He feels a lump forming in his throat as he gets off a now bloody, dazed Ruzek. He groans as he moves and sits up. “Adam... I’m sorry...” 

What the hell happened to him? He looks down feeling upset. He lost himself in his rage and felt nothing but rage. He blacked out where he was and that happened. “Nah man, it’s all good. Clearly you needed it.” He looks up at his best friend frustrated he’s allowing this or saying it’s okay. “It’s not bro... I fucking lost it...” 

He stands up and grabs a towel to wipe the blood off. “You know I’ve had worse right? Like being shot in the chest while luckily my vest was on and it caught it?” Jay winced as he remembered it and nodded his head. “Things happen Jay. You’re grieving. I can’t be mad at you for that. I have no idea how I’ll explain this to Kim, but I’m not mad with you.” 

Jay sighs as he leans over the rope with his arms. “It doesn’t give me the excuse to just use you as my punching bag...” Adam leaned over the rope with him and shakes his head. “No one is hurting more than you in the unit man, but we’ve got your back. You aren’t alone Jay.” 

Jay smiled a little then watched Adam gathered his things. “Now wish me luck, I got a dinner date with Kim and now I have to explain.” That didn’t help how Jay felt but Adam was right. “Sorry about that.” Adam puts his finger to his own lips as he’s walking away. “None of that, just wish me luck man!” Jay laughs as he’s taking the tap off now. “Good luck! Hopefully she won’t kick my ass later.” 

He thought Adam would say more but it’s just a laugh and he’s walking out the door. Jay being alone, he sighs as he’s left with his thoughts. He falls down to the mat and holds his legs as big, loud needed sobs leave his chest, his vision blurry and the words leave him without really thinking about it. 

“I’m sorry dad... I thought I had all the time in the world... I learned to deal with it on my own and now you’re gone...” he felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He could breathe, for the first time in awhile and it felt like everything would be okay.


End file.
